I can hardly understand how its come to this – me sitting here in tears writing this post. I genuinely thought that I had found something – someone – who was right for me, who would love me and support me; who was prepared to take the rough with the smooth and who had my back.
It’s been four months. I have had not a bad word to say about my boyfriend. I thought he was a good person – someone who was very similar to me in temperament and personality and who I enjoyed spending my time with. He made the effort with my kids – he showed patience and sat with my 7 year old, listening to him read his school books and guiding him with his maths homework.
He drove for an hour each way to visit me with or without my kids – he wasn’t someone who made me feel like I had to choose between him or them.
He brought me tea in bed, brought me home cooked food when I had a busy week and we spoke or at the very least texted each other every day for the last four months.
We went away for a romantic weekend last time I was child free – two weeks ago. It was great. His birthday is next weekend and I had planned a lovely day together in London – I’ve bought tickets for the Shard and was going to suggest we combine that with a wander round Borough food market and a lobster dinner somewhere nearby.
I have opened up to him and felt like I could tell him anything. I have felt that he is a genuine, honest and loving person.
I am child free tonight and he was due to come over and spend the evening and night with me. He turned up as planned but I could immediately see that he had bad news.
He broke up with me. Just like that. No notice. Nothing.
Apparently the issues I have with parenting my kids – particularly my 7 year old who does tend to be very defiant and demanding – are just too stressful for him and because of that he simply can’t see our relationship working. He had clearly made his mind up.
He told me he still loves me but I just can’t understand that.
The way that I have immersed myself in this relationship, it just feels like there will now be a massive void. He has been more than a lover – he’s become a best friend and basically the person who held my happiness in his hands and now that’s just vanished into thin air – like all it ever was, was smoke and mirrors.