Dear Next Door Neighbour,
If you are seriously planning on leaving your girlfriend, please do not do so on my behalf. You may think I am amenable to some kind of relationship with you, but I’m not. If I was a 15 year old girl with no experience of the men of the world then you would probably be in with a good chance of getting me into bed at this point, but believe you me I’ve seen it all, the good the bad and the ugly, and I know whereabouts on the spectrum you fall.
You tell me you know me, but the only things you know are things I’ve volunteered – you’ve never actually asked me about myself – what I enjoy doing, what my hopes and dreams are for the future, what makes me laugh.
Parenting? Unless you have ever had to take full and ongoing responsibility for your child’s well-being you cannot identify and it annoys me that you would suggest otherwise.
We met for the first time just six weeks ago.
I think you are addicted to secrets and lies. Take away that element and I suspect the desire would rapidly wain until the next opportunity showed up and the cycle began again.
I feel that you have detected the vulnerability in me – in my situation, and you want to move in for the kill. But listen, I’m not here for the taking – my children need their mum to be happy, mentally balanced and buoyant and I’ve got evidence – literally right on my doorstep – of the emotional fallout of a relationship with you. Anti-depressants? Panic attacks?
The things you’ve said to me about your girlfriend make my soul ache. Your casual attitude to sex leads me to some disturbing conclusions. The word ‘dysfunctional’ barely scrapes the surface.
Sexual frustration is a small price to pay to protect my heart and keep myself and my children safe.
So please accept my apologies if I’ve sent out mixed signals up to this point. It’s taken me this long to get a grip on what’s really going on here but let me make myself clear – I want no part of it.
Finally, thank you for the kindness and friendliness you have shown me but forgive me if I must question your underlying motives. I hope you can find some peace and happiness in your life one day – without the collateral damage.