A home of one’s own

As I mentioned recently, myself and the boys are about to move out of my parents’ place after six months and into the first home of our own in this brave new world post-separation.

It’s only a rental property and our initial contract is only six months, plus it is what is available and convenient right now as opposed to a home I have hunted for and lusted after, however I am beginning to get just a little bit excited.

At some point in my blogging journey I began to really find myself immersed in the blogs of other women who are really into their home décor. Then I began to buy ‘home style’ type magazines. Then I began to pick up decorative objects which I never would have been interested in before and spend hours browsing the likes of Home Sense and the homewares section of Next.

I went as far as creating small spaces which could be defined as mine and mine alone and styling them to suit my own taste within our family home. But that was the extent of my endeavours and I put to bed the dream of true interior experimentation and design.

Until now. I know it’s not exactly Jasper Conran but I visited IKEA at the weekend with a friend and began to take note of all the little bits and pieces that winked at me across the crowded room zones. I mentioned to my friend that it felt so different to be there as a single woman – no partner to compromise with, no one to negotiate with over the POANG or the KALLAX.

I didn’t end up buying too much, just some smaller items like bath mats and toothbrush holders but I’m thankful that I haven’t rushed into anything because I really want to create a home that I can love – every room, every little space – and that takes a bit of time and thought and planning.

I own a couple of expensive items of furniture which I will be picking up from the old house soon. At least that is the intention – the husband has told me he will pretty much wrangle over everything – even these items which I bought myself before I even knew him and paid for with my own money because, ‘marital assets’.

Anyway, these things (a sofa-bed, a dining table and chairs) were things I bought long before I developed a taste for interior design and consequently, my former decisions were made with very simple requirements in mind: that the sofa match the rug; that the table be plain and practical and un-remarkable; and that the chairs match the table.

I wouldn’t choose a dark red sofa now but it’s what I’ve got to work with so I’m looking for ways to pimp up these everyday items and mix them in with much more edgy looking pieces in order to express my own style.

Goodness knows I am a complete novice but I’m not afraid to choose a bold style – something which I never could have done when I was with the husband because I know he would have thought I’d gone mad and completely vetoed the whole thing.

There is also the gift of having an (almost) completely clean slate with which to start. I’ve never been one for tackling huge projects – I’d never buy a ‘doer-upper’ home for example because I just don’t have the patience and I would be depressed and de-moralised moving into a complete hovel.

However I am at a point where I really want to grab the opportunity I’ve been afforded and I’m having so much fun browsing Pinterest for ideas and getting back into this fascination. The fact that I now have the ability to do more than just window shop and daydream makes the whole thing doubly exciting.

Obviously I have major limitations: a rental property which probably means I can’t drill holes so no shelves or pictures on the walls; a very small budget meaning that I can’t afford to splash out on designer items. This does however provide me with a cool challenge to scout the charity shops and find ways to mix, match and upcycle.

I wish I could share this post on my other blog – the one with followers and friends and at least a bit of a profile – but the last thing I want right now is my ex to have a window into anything I might be thinking or feeling or planning or dreaming about. So you, my lovely SMUC followers – all two of you 😉 will be my sounding board for the time being.

 

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5 thoughts on “A home of one’s own

  1. Have you checked with your attorney about the marital assets thing? In my state, anything you owned before marriage remains yours. That’s really petty of him to be arguing about keeping stuff that you bought before you even met him, regardless… Have fun with the redesign! I’m doing the same thing. Slowly… 🙂

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    1. He is very petty. And controlling. Although apparently I am the controlling one and yes, if you consider breaking up with a partner who has made you feel miserable and broken and leaving to a unknown future with two children to bring up pretty much single handedly controlling then I fully admit that. I have taken back control *of my own life*. I don’t think the re-design is going to be happening – not properly – for some time…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know exactly what you mean by him being petty and controlling, and then saying that it is you. My husband continues to do that to me. He took some things that are mine, have sentimental value to me, and mean nothing to him, and then he tells me that I’m being petty but being mad about “stuff.” Jerk.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I think like me you’re in the UK? It’s probably a whole different ball game over here regarding marital assets – not sure.
    Anyway, all the best with the move, onwards and upwards….will be reading with interest.

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    1. I am in the UK. I don’t really know what the deal is with marital assets but anyway he’s agreed to let me have the big things that I asked for so that’s a weight off. I am going to have to buy loads though and he’s already quibbled with me over £20 worth of cushions!! So awkward going in and having him watch me as I box everything up.

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